Friday, March 14, 2008

Tired of being tired

I'm tired, man. I'm tired of this constant struggle between my heart and my brain. My heart tries to pull me to the left, but my brain somehow finds a way to pull me right.

After numerous conversations with friends I'm left with the conclusion that no matter how much advice I take, the only one who can determine the outcome is me. But that just leads me back to the whole "heart vs. brain" struggle. I just need to figure out which ME I'm going to listen to.

You're probably like "what the hell is Eeb talking about?!" haha It's all good. I'm just talking to myself right now, hoping that maybe I'll come to an answer by the time I finish typing this blog.

My homeboy said something the other day that really stuck with me. It was something to the effect of "'s the whole responsibility of actually being GOOD". We all have our insecurities, it's a matter overcoming them that I find the most challenging. I just need to remind myself of why I got into this whole thing in the first place. Should I aim to please or should I just aim?

I DO believe in myself, but I only wish I could see what others see in me. This is where my struggle begins and ends.

Still searching for an answer.


Wednesday, March 5, 2008

It's been a while.

So looking at the date of my last "blog", it's been some months now. It's a new year ( 3 months in as a matter of fact), a lot of changes. Some setbacks, some miletones, a little bit of everything, but in the end I'm still the same ol'Eeb.

Rather than delve into the happenings of the past several months, I just wanted to touch on a little something as a reminder to myself if nothing else. Like I said things have been "busy". But what do I seriously mean by that? Was I so wrapped up and consumed with myself, trying to get my hustle on that I forgot about everything else around me?

My uncle passed away just yesterday ( God rest his soul ). He was a beautiful man, loved by every soul he ever touched. His passing served me as a reminder to never lose sight of family and loved ones no matter how consumed you may get with your own pursuits. We all get selfish sometimes, but there's a difference between selfish and forgetful. I think I've been a little of both lately. Not a good combo, Eeb, not a good combo.

To those of you who know me, whether we're blood, good friends, distant acquaintances or if you're just a random blog reader. I appreciate you. I'm not reborn or a new man or anything like that. I'm just in state of realizing all the things and people that are important to me.

Thanks for your time.